A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, “Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?”
The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right.”
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, “I’m the new ordained pastor in town. I’d like for you to come to church on Sunday. I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.”
The little boy replied with a chuckle. “Awww, come on… You don’t even know the way to the Post Office.”
Laughter the BEST Medicine!!!
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St Peter says,
We only have one rule here in heaven:
Don’t step on the ducks!
So they enter heaven, and sure enough,
There are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
And although they try their best to avoid them,
The first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St Peter chains them together and says,
Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!’
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck
And along comes St Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together
With the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and,
Not wanting to be chained
For all eternity to an ugly man, is very,
VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks,
But One day St Peter comes up to her
With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.
St Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says,
‘I wonder what I did to deserve being
Chained to you for all of eternity?’
The guy says, I don’t know about you,
But I stepped on a duck.
Spit It Out - In Lacrosse, Wisconsin, officers investigating the theft of a safe and some beer tokens from a bar found a trail of tobacco spit leading from the scene of the crime. They collected the spit and had it analyzed, and the DNA led them to two 21-year old criminals, who were arrested.
reprinted from the Portland Oregonian’s “The Edge”
A little boy goes to his father and asks ‘Daddy, when I was a baby – how was I born ? 
The father answers, ‘Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: I’m all Yours!
I just wanted you to know, I’ve entered the Snap Dragon part of my Life. Part of me has Snapped and the Rest of Me is Dragging!
Why is there a fence around the graveyard?
Everyone is dying to get in!!